🔗 Share this article

One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?